Dear Concerned Son,
You've already managed to get beyond
one of the hardest steps towards healing
which children of alcoholics have to take:
admitting that a parent is an alcoholic.
Often, sons, daughters, wives, and husbands
of alcoholic households learn early on
to deny that any problem exists and to
cover things up.
It's good that you've thought about
your drinking in terms of your family
history. In fact, this is one facet of
the "Profile of a Healthy Drinker".
Due to genetic and environmental influences,
children of alcoholics are about three
to four times more likely to become alcoholic
than the rest of the population. That's
why it may help you and others in your
shoes to evaluate your alcohol use: how
much, how frequently, and whether or not
you should drink at all.
Children of alcoholics tend to take
on roles that help them adapt to the chaos
at home. In an alcoholic household, there
is a severe lack of role models for positively
expressing emotions. So, some children
become "placaters," doing anything
to keep the peace and to comfort others
at their own expense.
Young and adult children of alcoholics
may also face a range of emotional problems.
These include a strong sense of guilt,
particularly for the parent's drinking;
constant anxiety and/or fear of what will
happen at home; embarrassment and confusion;
an inability to trust others and self;
anger; and depression.
It is important for you to develop a
healthy sense of self-esteem. Your father's
problem is his problem - you are in no
way at fault. Recognise his problem and
know how it can influence certain aspects
of your life, like right now, with drinking
at school.
Other help available
We have our "Live
Advice" service available
online - check the home page to see when
it's available.
Check our Interactive
Map to find your nearest help centre.
We also have a counselling service available
here at our offices just phone on (01)
836-0911.
Take care and if I can be of further
help just write.
The Drugs Awareness Team
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