Prevention

Young people from all backgrounds may be tempted to use cigarettes, alcohol and/or illicit drugs. Parents’ biggest worry is the risk to their children from drugs and alcohol. This concern can cause parents to develop misconceptions about substance use, including that:

• Using any kind of drug automatically leads to addiction

• If their kids use drugs they are bad parents

• Drugs cause social exclusion

• That everyone else sees drug use as evil

These feelings can cause communication problems between parents and their children on drug issues. Parents often can’t understand why children would want to use drugs.

Parents often feel nervous talking to their children about drugs and are unsure what approach to take. Research has shown that they often feel they:

• Don’t know anything about drugs

• Don’t know what to do if their child is using any kind of substance

• Don’t know what signs to look out for

• Don’t know how to approach the subject with their children

• Don’t know where to get information

It’s important to start talking to your child as early as possible to develop a trusting relationship and foster a protective environment against substance abuse. Where a family member has had an addiction problem it is even more important to talk to your children, as this puts them at greater risk of developing a problem.

First Steps

• Educate yourself

• Set an example

• Set clear boundaries

• Always keep lines of communication open

Set an example

We expect our children to do what we say, but our children will do what we do. The way we use alcohol, tobacco and medicines in our homes is therefore crucial in determining their behaviour around substances.

What kind of messages are we giving our children if we:

• Pour ourselves a whisky as we walk through the door after a hard day at work

• Smoke cigarettes

• Come home tipsy from dinner, drinks parties or the pub

• Keep popping pills every time we have a headache, stomach ache etc.

WHAT CAN WE DO AS PARENTS?

We are the role models for our children and they learn from our behaviour. For example, children whose parents smoke are twice as likely to start smoking themselves, compared to those with non-smoking parents.

It’s best to give up smoking before your children reach the age of 12, as they will still be in the ‘anti-smoking’ phase. This will mean they will be receptive to your good example and can also support you in giving up.

The more we look after ourselves the more our children will learn valuable lessons from what we do. Set clear boundaries

Many of us fear confrontation but children actually feel safer and loved when clear rules are laid down and communicated. Setting up and enforcing rules is not easy. Many parents are concerned that strict rules will alienate their children.

We also need to be clear what the consequences of breaking the rules are. Research shows that young people are less likely to use tobacco, alcohol or other drugs if their parents set firm rules about not doing so.

Try not to overreact with harsh punishments when your children break the rules, as this will undermine the effectiveness of setting the rules. Punishments should be related to the rule broken, e.g. if you catch your daughter smoking with her friends, ground her from social activities for a period of time. Make sure your children are aware of what the punishments will be before they choose to break the rules, and make sure that you enforce the punishment.

Talk to your children. Tell them how disappointed you would be if they started smoking cigarettes or cannabis and why. Have an open discussion about the dangers of different drugs. You can explain that cannabis interferes with concentration, memory and movement and that it leads to poorer school performance. Or that alcohol can make you feel sick and have a terrible headache the next day. Always communicate in a loving and supportive way.